


The Five Times Steve Rogers Failed to Grow a Beard (and the One Time He Succeeded)

by flawlessassholes



Category: Captain America, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Character Study, Facial Hair, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Superfamily, Superhusbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 01:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawlessassholes/pseuds/flawlessassholes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Steve.” Bucky said, staring at Steve like he had gone mad. “You’re twenty fucking years old. You look like a thirteen year old prepubescent sonofabitch who ‘forgot’ to shave to impress some gal. Go shave the damn beard thing off.” </p><p>(Or: Steve tries to grow a beard. Most people hate it.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Five Times Steve Rogers Failed to Grow a Beard (and the One Time He Succeeded)

1\. 

“You have got to be kidding me.” Bucky said, crossing arms and shaking his head. He was perched on the stoop of the brownstone that he lived in, and Steve was trying, trying, to explain to him why he looked keen, and not like any other bluenose that went to St. Pete’s down the street. “No, Steve.” 

“Bucky, can you just listen to me? Please? Okay, with this, I can sneak into joints with you. I can get dames with you.” Steve exclaimed wildly, throwing his arms around. He was trying to grow a beard. And he thought he looked mighty fine too, especially when he looked in the dirty mirror of his (small) apartment. “It looks so nice!” 

“Steve.” Bucky said, staring at Steve like he had gone mad. “You’re twenty fucking years old. You look like a thirteen year old prepubescent sonofabitch who ‘forgot’ to shave to impress some gal. Go shave the damn beard thing off.” 

“Bucky!” He tried to protest. 

“Now.” Bucky said, pointing to the door. 

2\. 

“You’re going to have to shave, Mr. Rogers.” Senator Brandt said, looking in the mirror of Steve’s dressing room. He wasn’t the type of person who should have a dressing room. He certainly never thought he would have one. He shouldn’t even really be here, he should be off fighting in the war, like he was supposed to. Like he was meant to with this new body. 

A new body that could now grow a decent beard. And after Steve had a weekend off (spent writing letters to Bucky) he came back to ‘work’ and put on that leotard of his and attempted to go take a photograph to sell more war bonds when he was stopped by the great senator himself. 

“You can’t have a beard, Mr. Rogers. It’s not wholesome. You’ll look like some riff-raff off the streets.” Senator Brandt tried to explain. 

Steve stared at him. “Some of our best presidents have had beards, Senator.” 

“Name one.” He replied, crossing his arms. 

“President Lincoln? You know, 16th president, ended the civil war, freed the slaves?” 

Senator Brandt looked uncomfortable, and shifted. “Well he wasn’t a very good president, was he? Now shave.” 

Great. Not only was Steve working for a racist, but he had to shave also. 

3\. 

“Welcome back to base, Captain, we just have a few papers for you to sign, and then you’re in meetings with Colonel Phillips and your team for strategy, and is that a beard?” A british woman’s voice greeted Steve as he stepped off his bike and looked up with bloodshot eyes. 

“Yes, Peggy. It’s a beard. I didn’t have time to shave.” He said, sighing. 

“Well, I think it looks nice. Is Bucky with you? He didn’t come back from the train job.” She replied, turning on her heels and walking towards the inside. 

Steve shook his head and followed. “No, he’s not.” He said, shortly. The one time that he had a beard, and someone thought it looked fine, he had to shave it off. Bucky hated the thought of Steve with a beard. It wasn’t right, not anymore. “Peggy, do you know where I could get a razor, actually?” He asked, blinking back whatever emotion he had left after trying to drink it away. 

She sighed and nodded. “Come on. Phillips has this brilliant idea with a plane.” 

4\. 

Steve honestly thought he’d never fall in love. He thought his ship had sailed seventy years ago. 

He had clearly never met Tony Stark. 

Everything Tony did, every quirk, every comment, every life saved, every thai food ordered, Steve fell further in love. 

“I wonder what you’d look like with a beard.” Tony said, thoughtfully, examining Steve over his cheerios. Steve had a bit of stubble after a- ahem- night of debauchery. 

“I tried to grow one a couple times.” Steve said, shrugging into his coffee and absentmindedly stroking his chin. 

Tony raised his eyebrows. “What happened to it?” 

“Oh, Bucky laughed too many times, there was a racist senator, you know. The usual. When you’re clean shaven Captain America you can’t really have a beard. The image and everything.” He said, shrugging. 

Tony got up to kiss his stubbly cheek. “Well, if you ever decide to grow one, I’ll be fine with it.” 

5\. 

Six months. 

He had been M.I.A. for six months. Six months without seeing his husband, or his son, or his dog. 

Six months of torture and dirty water and moldy bread and not talking and learning mandarin because he had literally nothing else to do until he was finally rescued and brought back to America. Back to his family. Back to his fucking dog. Was he ever so glad to see Dodger Rogers. (six year old Peter had named him, not Steve.)

“I’m so glad to see you.” Tony said, hugging him so tightly Steve had the breath knocked out of him. 

“Pops, don’t ever do that again.” Sixteen year old Peter said, also hugging his father once Tony had stopped kissing him. “Did the chinese not let you shave?” Peter asked, blinking at Steve’s beard. 

“No. Might have given me a tool for escape.” He didn’t want to think about his time there anymore. He just wanted to forget. “Get me a razor. Please.” 

+1. 

“I can’t believe he’s married.” Steve said, sighing and waving his hands at his son who was leaving for his honeymoon. 

“Gwen’s a great girl. I can’t believe you’re retiring.” Tony replied, leaning a little heavier on his cane to be able to wave to his son goodbye. 

Steve chuckled. “Well, we’re getting older. We’ve got our home in Malibu, I’ve got golf Monday with Coulson, Fury, and Sitwell. It’s time we settled down.” 

Tony turned to kiss him. “Hmm. Domestic and shit. I like that.” 

“Me too.” Steve replied with a laugh. 

“Does that mean the beard is here to stay?” Tony asked, raising his eyebrows hopefully. 

It was.

**Author's Note:**

> Because Emily (www.em1ree.tumblr.com) asked for it.


End file.
